Hair today...hair tomorrow?

Hair! Glorious hair! its been said, "the bigger the hair, the closer to God." while the southern girl in me loves that statement and wishes it were true, i know it isn't. i also recognize that not all big hair, not even the one pictured, will get you closer to God. :)

i've been contemplating my hair situation as of late. i know its not on the plane of ending war or poverty but listen people! these are the thoughts in my head :) i've been growing it out, my hair. the decision to grow it was partially related to me wanting to and partially b/c i was seeing a guy who liked longer hair. this is where it gets tricky for me...i think, as much as i am able to think such thoughts about myself, that i like myself better with shorter hair. my hair is slightly wavy and i like how it can look "messy" when its shorter. its also loads easier to fix. people often say, "oh when your hair is longer you can do so much with it." that may be true but the fact of the matter is i rarely do much of anything. its either straight or wavy (which is done thru styling products and tools as the natural wave doesn't hold in my loooong hair). if i'm being entirely honest, i usually end up pulling it up in some sort of mess toward the end of the day. however, as a woman you want to be desirable and if a halo of hair is that option then sign me up. but mostly, i "think" that long hair is sexier or prettier and everyone always comments on my hair and they think its pretty and blah blah blah but the point is-the hair gets on my nerves. right now my hair is just long hair and i feel kind of over it....here are some options i'm considering...please feel free to leave your thoughts.

aw...the "posh" hairdo....i know! i know...this is so jennifer anniston-esque type hype from 1999. p.s. i wanted jen's hair then too...either way, it is what it is and i want this. i love it. i think its messy and can be sexy. it has the "bed head" look i'm going for...the problem? i'm no victoria beckham! she had a super short pixie cut a while back and i thought i had a crush on her...she can pull off whatever.

scarlett johansen (sp?)...she is always hot...how about this look? can it pulled off? help! i need hair help! :)

what are your thoughts on the "bed head bob" should i, or shouln't i?

hurry! we're running out of time!

*when i typed that title i thought of those end of the world scenes where they grab a shirt and toothbrush and go...also, when in slovakia for a summer- how i felt when i was trying to go to the bathroom with my pack on my back and almost missing a train :)

right now i'm hearing the sounds of a youngin'. thankfully, said youngin' isn't screaming but saying, "hey, hey" over and over again. i can live with it...he sounds cute...cute and in the other room! :)

ok...so when i heard the kid i had a few emotions/thoughts wash over me: 1. *sigh* that kid is loud 2. thank god isn't not screaming 3. i'm never having kids...4. crap! i'm never having kids...i need to hurry up! hahahaaha

the hurry up part is somewhat out of character for me. i tend to think that i don't want or will have kids. i think in my old life as a misguided youth i thought that i HAD to get hitched and have childrens. for the record, i don't think there is anything wrong with having kids. some of my favorite people have produced some awesome kids-i want to come back as one of their children or grandchildren :) but in my adult life i don't know about kids. it sounds scary to put out there almost like i'm not a good person or woman. i know they are amazing and add so much to your life and all that jazz but i'm not sure i would be good at it. thats a big commitment. i mean you not only have to love them but you have to like them forever. even when they are out of hand, rude or just making the worst decisions possible. thats a terrible kind of love. terrible as in there is no way to escape it nor would you want to.

if i'm honest, lately i've felt the need to hurry up about alot of things. i need to hurry up and have kids, i need to hurry up and buy a house or whatever else i've been holding back on. the truth is 30 feels more like 20something. i guess thats the perks of being a "half adult"-a family joke. and if i'm honest the only reason i feel the pressure is b/c i think i SHOULD be doing those things. i think that way b/c everyone around me is...no i'm not jumping off a bridge anytime soon but almost everyone i know is either married, getting married, have kids/want them or planning them. i'm still a free gypsy like i have been :) if i further stretch the honesty fabric i would realize a couple of things: 1. their lives are totally different than mine. 2. thats ok. i am not in the position to get married so thinking about getting married and having kids is somewhat premature.

i also have to remind myself that my life is very full even as a barren woman :)

Design...on dimes, nickels and quarters :)

previously, i mentioned some products or things i was dying over right now. in truth- i didn't list them all...there could have been loads more because i've been pretty interested in redecorating my bedroom. honestly, my roomie and i want to rent a house but there aren't any in safer neighborhoods that are compatible with either one of our budgets (pesky student loans!) so we are stationary for the time being. so, since i can't relocate-abroad or locally-i have decided to freshen up my personal space....

"no big deal." thats probably what you are thinking...but the truth is...its a huge deal. the problem? i.frickin'.can't.decide.on.anything. i love too many different styles it will look like i'm my room has been decorated by my grandmother and my 11yr old neice :)

i mentioned in my last post that i have been reading a decorating blog. holly, is an american replanted on german soil-who seems to be sprouting nicely. she has had this whole journey of preparing to move, moving and then setting up home in germany. i love alot of her design taste but she is a bit too modern for me...there at least i can rule out "modern" from my design choices. aside from not being into her modern pieces, i appreciate her tortured approach (she can't decide on anything, is thrifty etc...) to making her space home and i like how she just doesn't pick whatever is around, she puts alot of thought and care into her selections and over all feel of her rooms. she is thoughtful about how she wants the room to be, how she wants people to feel in it and most importantly-how it will function. she works from home so it can't be a space that can't be "lived in."

so back to me :) i've been thinking, long before i met holly's blog, that i would like to redo my room. but what do i choose? if you don't know me, i'm easily overwhelmed by choices and will often times just pick something-only to regret it later! i've been checking out her blog, ikea and some other sites and here are some things i like that seem to be in the same family:

but i also enjoy this:

this sort of story board appeals to me. the soft, romanticism of it:

~ i think those are so cute

how cute is this guy? i want him so bad! i'd make tea all the time!

finally...this drives me insane! there is too much going on!:

thats just a few (yeah, right!) things i am loving right now. i also enjoy black furniture and think its so chic but i feel strongly drawn toward softer, sweeter colors...hmm...decisions...decisons!

what about you? what is your design style?

Passport Life

recently i've had a itchin' in my bones...i've been a little restless, withdrawn & scattered. this isn't too far from my normal demeanor-i'm always kind of a mess :) i mean i'm the girl that gets BBQ sauce on the butt of her party dress at a wedding-yeah...i'm a catch hahaha. back to that itch...

lately, well for a while actually, i have had this desire to exist somewhere else. anywhere else. i want a passport life. for some reason, as much as i love my family and friends (who are like my family), i feel like i have this gypsy heart. i want to...go. go and not look back, not feel roots somewhere else...go and take in a new place, become a local at a different coffee shop then just be gone one day. see the odd thing is i don't have a desire to put down roots somewhere else. it is almost like i don't want to get rooted but the flip side is this intense longing in me for that soul mate connection...perhaps he'll be a gypsy as well? :)

i think this recent surge of daydreaming about an existance in another place or country can be blamed on a number of things, most of which are too personal and in-depth to get into...but i'll pick the easiest one: a blog. there. i said it. i'm so modern. the blogger, holly, is originally from SC but married a German & they spend part of their time in Germany & part in the US. recently, they have made a more permenant move to Germany & she is loving it. in the blog she discusses her preparations, sacrafices and new experiences. this is also a decorating blog...weird i know but she has load of pictures, ideas and "mood boards" with the posts. i'm so interested in her design taste as well as how personal she makes each entry. she is a little scattered, perhaps that is why i like her so much, she is also indecisive (again...i see a pattern forming here) and she has this fabulous life. seriously, its fabulous. she isn't super wealthy, she has saved, sacraficed, budgeted and worked hard. i think part of the reason i like her sooo much is b/c she wasn't handed this experience. she didn't go for her job, she isn't a "trust-fund baby," she made the necessary choices to make this dream a reality & i respect her for those decisions as they weren't easy or comfortable. her situation sort of helps me realize that perhaps my daydreams aren't so unattainable. it also makes me long, almost uncontrollably, for something else. don't get me wrong. i love my people & apart from a few issues i love my job & my work people. i just wonder if i'll get to actually do it. i don't think that i could live my life so unconnected from people-i desire love and love to love others too much for that. but i wonder if i'll ever get to be somewhere else. if saying things like, "taking the rail to ...." will be a part of my normal every day life.

truthfully, i'm my own worst enemy. on the heels of each daydream is the "reality monster." i talk myself down by obsessing over the money it would cost to start up somewhere else, where would i live-in truth i would have to be a couch hippy or be blessed enough to find a room to rent for like $1 a month. i think about the fear i have, the personal issues i have that hold me back....the list is on and on and on. but in the end...the daydream starts up again :)

what about you? what do you daydream about? do you desire to pick up and go w/o looking back?

p.s. i have decided to not care so much about capitalization and such. it just feels more relaxed this way. while i'll strive to be "readable" i want this to feel like friends talking. not too formal. :)

Products I'm dying over right now.

Christmas time...or is it Christmastime?...

Well either way, Christmas is 'round the corner. While I love the season and time of year I hate to Christmas shop. Its true. There...I said it. The reason I hate to Christmas shop isn't because I don't want to get loved ones gifts, I love getting people I love presents! The dread that I have tends to be about what to get them. You see I have this amazing ability to see something in a shop and think, "I'm totally getting this for my niece or BFF at Christmas but then when that holiday pressure is on I totally draw a blank. For example, my roommate is fairly easy to purchase for-if its spy, vampire or geek related she is all over it like a cheap date. However, I found myself asking...well...myself what in the heck to get her for Christmas. Do any of y'all suffer from this the way I do?

So in an effort to distract myself from obvious psychological pain I thought I'd post a few things I am lusting after:








If i loved this perfume any more I'd have to marry it...is that legal? I'd say probably not but I actually read or saw a video about a woman who married the Eiffel Tower-very bizarre. I am in love with the smell, the way it makes me feel when I wear it and the packaging. Michael Kors is such a great designer and I think he really gets women. He understands femininity and sensuality. I am so excited to be getting this for Christmas.

I know this makes me 12 yrs old but I don't care. I love this show. The show is 100 times better than the Twilight Saga movie ever thought about being. The writing is better, the story is interesting, the acting is leaps and bounds beyond Twilight and this is coming from a girl that has read it about 5 times. I'm totally serious. I love this show. Apart from the teenage business I think the complexity of the characters is so interesting and keeps me coming back for more. I love the gentleness of Stephan and his love for Elena yet he has this dark place in him that he tries to ignore but it is a part of who he is. I love Damon-NEVER thought I'd say that in a million years. At first I completely hated Damon. I know most girls drool for bad boys and I'll admit an occassional crush but really bad boys don't do it for me. I love the affectionate side of the Edwards, Stephans, and Lloyd Doblers of the fictional world and I'd love them to be a part of my real world. So again, never thought I'd like Damon but I have grown to appreciate his orneryness and his softer side hidden beneath the dark. I think that every person, real or fictional has a "light" side and a "dark" side. I'd actually like to see a little more out of each out of the Salvatore brothers. :)

*Sigh* The Urban Decay Naked palette. It is a beautiful palette of neutrals that makes my heart stop. At 45$ a pop it should! It is so pretty. I don't have one as spending that much on one palette is hard to justify but I want to really badly! I think it is so gorgeous and the looks are endless! UD has great shadows and is known for putting out these sort of palettes that are whimsical and fun. They did one for Alice in Wonderland that looked so cute but I'm not so much a color girl as I am a neutral lover. I do pop in some purples and greens occassionaly :) I was recently at an ULTA and I looked for this palette and it was, of course, out of stock...maybe Jolly Ole St. Nick will think my good behavior this past year will warrant this under the tree....




Traveling...(no picture enclosed...) Recently, I went on vacation to Savannah, GA and Hilton Head, SC. I have to say that I was born to vacation. I love to go somewhere and live like a local. I want to go to their favorite pubs, I want to eat their food and I want to know their stories. I was meant to sit on the beach and read a book and wear HUGE sunglasses, bathing suits and drink cokes...and when I wear real clothes it is a flowy sun dress. I was meant to vacation.



Podcasts-I have been listening to a few podcasts while I work and I have to say they do make the time go by so much faster. Right now, I'm following a staggering 2 podcasts. I'm still selective in my listening. I tend to get caught up in their conversation and don't want to do the wrong thing at my job! :)

No...not Ashlee Simpson Wentz but red hair! I had more of a strawberry thing going on when I was younger and as I grew up my hair became more of a brunette...I've always felt like a sassy redhead so recently I took the crimson plunge and became a full fleged ginger. I loved it. I get alot of compliments (hopfully honest) and I'm loving. I'm not in love with the upkeep but such is life!

Maybe this is all for now...

Enjoy your life...you only get one!

xoxo Robyn